Are you tired, confused, stuck, or just feel like something is missing…….
How do you handle struggles? Do you run toward them or away from them? Maybe, like me, you are somewhere in the middle. I have learned when conflict resolution is done well, it falls somewhere in the middle. When we rush in we can miss important perspectives and understandings. Yet if we move too slowly, we can cause the pain and challenges of that conflict to linger for days, months, or even years.
So the question really is: How can I move at a productive pace, with a more complete perspective and understanding?
The truth simply is that it becomes necessary to have a more complete plan. When we learn to plan for conflict ahead of time, we can prepare our minds and hearts for healthy solutions away from personal bias and pride. When pride goes before the call, the message is sure to fall.
I have tried and failed at many, many things while handling people, relationships and life’s conflicts. It was not until the last few years that I began to really get traction. The traction simply came from a sincere desire to be better each day than I was the previous day. This passionate resolution covered everything from what I read to what I said and how I said it. It forced me to be clear in my goals but not in the traditional way. When I say “be clear on my goals”, what I really mean is focus on the desired outcome and then work backwards. And like in the 80’s movie The Goonies, I also had to walk through each corridor expecting the next booby-trap.
My communication style was hard, direct and firm. It only paid in life when those dealings were in negotiations in business but rarely helped me anywhere else.
“Communication is the lynchpin in quality results.”
When our communication is solid, so are our results. When our communication is not, everything we are connected to goes off the proverbial rails. Communication was so important that I had to stop everything I was doing and completely reevaluate it.
The second most common booby-trap I had was simply my pace. Life to me was about getting things done. Being a deeply passionate person, I struggled a great deal in moving past my quick gun slinger approach to problem solving. For me I had to slow down the process as much as I could. If you struggle with moving quickly, then your pace issue may be from not moving quickly enough. Pace either loses perspective or prospers plans. The accurate pace is the protection pace, in which we can move forward in confidence and not ignorance.
As you can see, both of these traps prevent us from really approaching conflict from a healthy place. In the last few years a simple four word plan has changed everything. I hope these next four steps below can be as life changing for you as they were for me.
- What? : Our “what’s” are the core items we need for true success in communication. What is the real issue distilled, all the way down to its root? What is the outcome you need or desire most?
- When? : When do you need a result by (and saying A.S.A.P. is not going to cut it)? We have to choose a time and date on the calendar to have a successful completion. The date should stretch us for a resolve but also allow proper time to gain perspective and understanding.
- Why? : What or why are you motivated to move forward? For example when I wanted to move away from a poor character, I saw a huge opportunity to redefine myself and with that came understanding of my new “why”. My new “why” became simply breaking what appeared to be poor character in my family linage, always borrowing but never repaying or always promising but never delivering. I saw the issues and the lack that it brought forth in our family’s lives. My motivating “why” was to simply restore our family name back to a place of honor through the diligent steps of working hard to walk in a more rigorous manor. The gift of this pursuit became the development of character and integrity.
- How? : To put it simple, a plan is needed to properly discern and take action. Once we understand what our need is, while gaining more understanding, and when we hope to have a response, we are ready to start planning our action steps.
The gift comes only after the work, and the work is developed by finding the “what’s”, “when’s”, “why’s” and “how’s” of life.
You owe it to yourself to move forward in life with healthy communication and at a healthy and resultant pace. If you are as serious as I was about moving forward in life and tired of the rat wheel, then please be my guest and use of our Free Focus Tool to bring clarity to how you communicate and move around with the appropriate pace. This little 15 minute personal assessment can literally change how you view yourself and the world. I found that I was the only one truly holding myself back and I simply just needed the information to move forward; you might be the same way. It’s free and on The Journey Principles Institute website. I know it will truly bless you!
Please share the blog and the tool with a friend. We simply want to help the most people break free from what’s holding them back.
Thank you so much for following The Journey Principles. I really appreciate all the readers, the supporters and all those who are truly trying to break free.
In Your Service,