The G.R.O.W. Process (Change Your Life In 4 Easy Steps)
At a foundational level, I believe that anyone who has a burning desire to transform their life deserves it. We should all get to a place where we can be truly satisfied with our lives.
Just remember, getting there will cost you the same price that it cost me: Time, Energy, Faith, and Perseverance. These are the greatest assets you will ever own. When you match these things with a simple framework for success, just about anybody can achieve a breakthrough.
The simplest way I can help you learn how to maximize your life is through the G.R.O.W. process. G.R.O.W. is a simple, 4-step process for transforming any area of your life. G.R.O.W. originated from one of my first mentors, Steve Myrick. He was a man who saw himself in me and poured his wisdom and experience into me to help me grow.
G.R.O.W. is an acronym, with each letter representing an individual step in the 4-step process for life transformation. Now, let’s break down the G.R.O.W. process. The four steps are:
- G. = Gain Perspective & Understanding
- R. = Recognize & Remove Roadblocks
- O. = Organize a Plan
- W. = Work Your Plan
Next, we’ll breakdown each of these steps in detail.
The G.R.O.W. Process (Step-by-Step)
1. Gain Perspective & Understanding
Perspective is the process of viewing every area of your life from multiple angles to get a complete picture. I’ve discovered that the more viewpoints I use to decipher the critical areas of my life, the clearer my vision of the way forward and next-action steps becomes. In other words, the more you understand your current situation, problems, and struggles, the more likely you are to find solutions to any problems you’re having in your life.
Here are a few areas to consider when looking at your life:
- Where am I today (In each of the 8 Pillars)?
- How did I get here?
- Who was involved in how I got here?
- Upon what am I basing my conscious and subconscious choices?
- Who can I trust to give me a reliable outside perspective?
- Who can teach me what I need to know to move forward?
- Use the questions of discernment (These are helpful for getting clear on a focused direction forward):
- What’s right?
- What appears to be missing?
- What feels confusing?
- What do I feel is wrong? (And why do I feel that way?)
- Do I have enough perspective to view things correctly? (Our minds often play tricks on us using beliefs, biases, and lies. These are often the anchors that hold us down from making progress)
After you’ve answered my questions above, the next most important questions are:
- Where do I want to go? (In each of the 8 Pillars)
- Who can help me get there that is trustworthy?
- What steps may be needed?
- How can I measure my progress?
- What will it feel like when I arrive? (Creating a personal vision, using all 6 senses… and yes, I mean 6: sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, and instinct)
2. Recognize & Remove Roadblocks
We base our lives on the repeated principles, fundamentals, and biases we’ve shaped over time, and we call this a “Pattern”. A pattern is nothing more than a repeated way of thinking, acting, and reinforcing that led you to this point in your life. We have a tendency to develop harmful patterns of thinking in our lives, and harmful actions that don’t take us to where we want to go; These harmful patterns are caused by different kinds of “Roadblocks”.
Often, these patterns are rooted in past behaviors we received by one or both parental figures. For people like myself who did not have direct parenting from a parent, more than likely, there is a parental-figure we admired or listened to growing up. It’s also why most of us are attracted to or end up marrying a spouse who is like one of our parents or an anti-parent (the polar opposite of one of your parental figures.) If you had a traumatic experience in the past, it’s likely that your mind has put barriers up to protect you in the future… But oftentimes, these barriers don’t truly serve you and only hold you back.
No matter how you look at it, we all have struggles and blindspots in many places in our lives. If you think you don’t have any, then look at the evidence of your life to date: Are you exactly where you want to be in every area of life? If not, you have roadblocks that are holding you back!
Outside of a personality disorder, many of the roadblocks reveal themselves in the areas listed below:
- Traumas – These can be Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual.
- Triggers – Emotional struggles that appear to come without warning and seem to be uncontrollable. Here are a few triggers below.
- People Pleasing
- Victim Thinking
- Vacillating (Indecisiveness)
- Denial – The worst lie you can tell yourself is that you do not need growth, change, or forward progress. Those who struggle with rejection project their insecurities on others and blame everyone else. In other words, they are in denial. They believe that they don’t need to grow or change because they believe their situation was not caused. For people like this, their lack of accountability will hold them back. However, it is possible to have a traumatic past but still be accountable for our responses to the pain. You will always be responsible for where you are in your life, and I find that when I am regularly growing, it gives those around me the inspiration and permission to do the same. Someone must take the first step. In almost every movie, the hero always takes a step of faith toward the unknown.
- Unresolved Conflict – If you have a constant problem-area that you always think about, then it is not resolved. When we have an unresolved thought or idea surrounding a hurtful event, it will continue to resurface when you least expect it or want it. To resolve a conflict, you have to redeem it. One of my favorite moments of Transform U Live is when hundreds of people finally have their “ah-ha” moment. It’s the moment when you get the tools and skills to move past these hurtful events permanently.
- Attitude – Nothing is more powerful when it comes to creating or destroying momentum than your attitude. You can have all the teaching in the world but have an unhealthy mindset and you’ll never move forward. Have you ever noticed that those who expect bad things always tend to find them? I can ask that question because it took me years of struggling to fix it within myself. The crazy part is, I may have struggled for years, but it only took a matter of hours to correct the problem. You can correct this in a matter of hours too!
- Falling Prey to the 7 Enemies of Identity – I will dig into these in detail in a later post, but in short, there are seven areas in which self-doubt, self-esteem, and self-value reveal themselves.
- Toxic Relationships – I mentioned earlier that staying connected with these types of people steal from your very essence. Toxic Relationships will make you feel that you could never have another person. They also convince you that there is no one else who would love or value you. (I will break this down in detail in another post.)
3. Organize a Plan and Life Script
One of the biggest reasons we become stuck in our lives is because we let our emotions dictate our choices. We need to take the time to develop a specific plan for gaining ground in every area of life. Most of us never focus on a plan of action because we have not received the fundamentals and steps carried out successfully by others. How can a mother or father teach a child what they have not learned themselves? A plan must have a few very intentional key components to be useful.
Creating a New Life Script:
- Defined Clear Objectives – Have a goal, vision, and finished outcome clearly defined before you start.
- Roadblock Removal – Every plan must identify a clear way to move past traumas, triggers, self-doubt, and esteem issues.
- Maximizing Talents & Gifts – We’re all endowed with unique talents, gifts, and strengths to offer the world. We must get clear on what they are and lay out a plan to use them regularly. When we fail to do so, we remove any opportunity to receive fulfillment through what we value most. It may not be necessary to exercise your gifts in your career. However, you must apply your gifts through a hobby, service to others, or other creative outlets.
- Identification & Implementation of Guides & Co-Stars – Every hero on their journey needs a guide to help them see and overcome blind spots. The guide must have the authority to question, measure, and empower you to move forward. The guide must be someone trustworthy and preferably someone who is already where you want to go. Your co-stars are just as crucial to the process. They are likely on a similar journey, with the same goals, and prone to come across similar hurdles along the way. The primary purpose of the co-star is two-fold: You can bounce ideas off of them, and they can offer encouragement along the way.
- Replenishment Plan – When you set out to take these steps, you will run into your old behavior patterns. You will need to quickly reset your mind and possibly change the course of those actions. You will also have days where you may feel like you need rest. If you go full speed on this thing, you need to have at least one day a week where you stop and rest. Your replenishment plan will cover three areas.
- Where do you go? – It must be a calming place.
- What do you do? – Must be something that fills your inner tank.
- Who do I choose to be my partner, support, or mentor during this process?
- Measurement of Progress – If you don’t measure your results, you’ll miss the little wins, big wins, and awareness of when you need to make adjustments. You must inspect and correct what you expect. If you fall one day, get up the next day, but above all KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
If the organizing of a plan is a little intimidating, please don’t let this phase scare you. Once you learn how to do this right, it will be easy, and more powerful than you can imagine. If you’re still a little scared of it, join us at the next Transform U Live Event and we will guide you step-by-step through the process.
4. Work Your Plan
One of the reasons I spent so much time struggling is because I never got started. Once you have your plan, you must begin to take daily steps forward. Show yourself some grace when making a mistake – then learn, correct, and start again. Remember your plan is personal to you. That means it’s up to you to take what you’ve learned and applied it. I’ve yet to see one person learn and apply what I am teaching and fail to get the results. The key is, you must apply it and continue to be resilient during temporary setbacks. Get up each morning and say, “It’s Time to Work My Plan,” and then do it. You’ll soon come to learn that you’re stronger than you thought you were and more valuable to this world than you can begin to imagine. You can do this, and we’re here to help you!
If you begin to take the time to apply this 4-step process, I promise, you will start to see progress! All you need to do is decide that you’re done tolerating a life that’s less than what you deserve, and commit to the process! Before you know it, you’ll be waking up daily to the life of your dreams.
The Real Deal
There is no doubt that the G.R.O.W Process played a huge role in helping me to overcome homelessness and understanding the gift that it brings is something special to me. It along with my faith changed everything and I know that if you will put it into practice it will do the same for you.
If you are not ready to fully commit to the process just yet, that’s ok.
Here are a couple of other resources to help you get moving: